Jessica Kirson Keeps Shaking Up Ron's Cancer

CHAPTER 1: Jessica Kirson joins Ron for Chemo

RON BENNINGTON: This has got to stop. Seriously, this is not good for me right now.

JESSICA KIRSON: What?

RON BENNINGTON: Your laughing is shaking my cancer all up. And its spreading my cancer

JESSICA KIRSON: uh you know, I think it should spread.

RON BENNINGTON: I think that's really what you want is for it to spread everywhere.

JESSICA KIRSON: I love this whole thing.

RON BENNINGTON: Do you really?

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love coming to um cancer hospitals and talking to people that are going through chemo. I do it. You're not the first, right? I do it like every other day.

RON BENNINGTON: You like to come in and just hang out with people.

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah. I just come into their space and just talk to them. Normally I'm in like um a tube top and a g-string, But um I just don't feel great about my body today.

RON BENNINGTON: You know what? I want you to feel good about you.

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah. Because it's about me. It has nothing to do with you. Yeah.

RON BENNINGTON: And as soon as I found out, I go, "What am I going to tell Jessica?" And they people were saying, "Lie to her." You know, tell her that you beat it

JESSICA KIRSON: So funny. Like it's all over, but you're just coming. Yeah. Okay.

RON BENNINGTON: Yeah. you I mean I I would prefer people to lie to me, right? Um in my life. It's happened a lot.

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah. And um I'm really grateful to you for lying to me, too.

RON BENNINGTON: Well, you're you come from a background where you understand therapy, right?

JESSICA KIRSON: And that's the important thing is if you have somebody in your life lie the entire time, exactly. I mean, lie in therapy, right?

RON BENNINGTON: That's why I've been in such great... I've grown so much from lying.

JESSICA KIRSON: Yes. And sometimes I just do it and go from therapist to therapist to see who catches it. And they're all dumb.

RON BENNINGTON: But see, in this time, 2026, you've got it all. You managed to be a woman.....

JESSICA KIRSON: I don't know about that.

RON BENNINGTON: Gay....Jewish....

JESSICA KIRSON: Can you say that louder? Hold on. All of those things. Wait, I want you to say all of that, but the the biggest the biggest like the one I want you to make the loudest is that I'm Jewish.

RON BENNINGTON: Yeah.

JESSICA KIRSON: Cuz right now it's really Yeah......Yeah. gay. [Laughter] That was a lot. I am so... Do they have a room for me? I am so traumatized right now.

RON BENNINGTON: Yeah. Because of which... which is the most

JESSICA KIRSON: Well, being gay is disgusting. YeahUm you know, gay people are sinners and they're perverted. Um so I'm not really gay. I And when I'm with women, I don't It's not a sexual thing. I have them do my hair and put makeup on me and and we cry together. That's really It's about crying.

RON BENNINGTON: But that's the thing that happened for me too is like when when I was told, "Hey, you have a finite amount of time." I go, "Well, will there be any gays where I'm going?" And they're like, "I don't think so." You know, I go, "Jews? Not sure."

JESSICA KIRSON: Right? I would ask the exact same things. I would not want to be around any I feel like if you're around gays and Jews, it's going to it's going to make things worse. Like you'll get more sick. So, I really shouldn't be here... You know, that's why this is hilarious. I converted for this portcast.

RON BENNINGTON: Oh my god.

JESSICA KIRSON: And I now suck dick. Okay. So, I just cuz I wanted you to to be okay. Yeah.

RON BENNINGTON: Um but that's the only part that you converted or you a Christian now?

JESSICA KIRSON: No, I'm a Christian.

RON BENNINGTON: Oh, good.

JESSICA KIRSON: I eat ham.

RON BENNINGTON: Um you eat ham and dick.

JESSICA KIRSON: I don't masturbate cuz I don't want to waste seed. That's That's true. Yeah.

RON BENNINGTON: That makes Jesus cry if he knows you're masturbating.

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah. Those are his tears. They're coming out.

RON BENNINGTON: Do you know like when I was a kid, I used to wear a metal cuz I was Catholic But before I masturbated, I would take it off.

JESSICA KIRSON: Are you kidding? That's hilarious.

RON BENNINGTON: And I would put it on the end of my bed.

JESSICA KIRSON: Oh, that's kind of sweet.

RON BENNINGTON: Yeah, it really was. Yeah. But I was just like, look, sorry. You know what I mean?

JESSICA KIRSON: I embraced it the other way. I would put my necklace with a Jewish charm inside of me. Um because I was like, you know what? Screw you. I'm not doing this whole religious thing.

RON BENNINGTON: When did you turn your your back on your religion?

JESSICA KIRSON: That's [coughs and clears throat] a funny way of saying it cuz I did it from behind, too. Yes. Um Well, I mean, I'm I'm not. I'm a nun. Which is hilarious cuz no one knows that. They think cuz I'm like dirty on stage or whatever that I'm not. But I actually I am because I needed to wear like a big cape thing so that I could hide sandwiches under it and masturbate [Clears throat] and [Laughter] give people the finger.

RON BENNINGTON: Right.

JESSICA KIRSON: So yeah, I'm a fun nun. You are a fun. That's such a pun. Yeah. I hate myself from what I just said. So hacky.

RON BENNINGTON: I was like, remember when Carlin came out with the uh Class Clown album or Yeah. That was the first time being a Catholic kid I've heard anybody speak right like in a in a comedic way about the religion and I was like holy [ __ ] this is the best you know

JESSICA KIRSON: How old were you

RON BENNINGTON: I was like uh probably 13 14 at the time just stupid enough to act like I could do this too you know that's so

JESSICA KIRSON: I love that. yeah he was the best.... in bed cuz he was angry. Angry men are the more angry, the more I get off.

RON BENNINGTON: But do you want them angry at you or just angry at life? Everyone.

JESSICA KIRSON: Yes. Mostly at me. Yes. But um Are you angry at me?

RON BENNINGTON: Yes.

JESSICA KIRSON: Really? Yes. Why? What did I do to you?

RON BENNINGTON: Your health. When I see your health and I go, has she done anything different than me?

JESSICA KIRSON: Ron. Yes. I am not okay physically. Okay. I'm my little my pinky toe is now folded under the toe. Next. This is all true. I feel a bump on my knee since last night. I have pain in my left. I think it's all like just from Cheetos and pie, but Yeah. No, I'm not I'm telling you I definitely stuff's going on.

RON BENNINGTON: Okay. Well, that that makes me feel better.

JESSICA KIRSON: What, that I'm not okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've lost a lot of weight. Yeah. I come I keep some weight on so I don't get assaulted, but I've lo... I've definitely lost weight.

RON BENNINGTON: But but without trying.

JESSICA KIRSON: No, I've tried. Yeah. I I mean, you know, it's been my thing since I'm a kid is being a food addict. Yeah. I would eat here because I mean, they have saltines, they have graham crackers, they have jell-o, semen, they have so many things that are delicious.

RON BENNINGTON: Yes. In that order. It's like a little buffet. Is this a dip?

JESSICA KIRSON: Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a shiva. Yeah.

RON BENNINGTON: Yeah. um do your like um Jewish old lady getting mad.

JESSICA KIRSON: Why do you want me to do that? I don't know why I had to come here and do this stupid show. I don't feel well either. Where am I? I mean, uh you couldn't get a nicer room. There's a draft in here. Where's the help?

RON BENNINGTON: I I hate the fact of how easy it is for you to make me go... because I will fall out.

JESSICA KIRSON: What else do you want me to say?

RON BENNINGTON: Do do your bit where you're just facing the uh wall and you're angry with yourself and feeling

JESSICA KIRSON:Oh I'm talking to myself. Okay.

RON BENNINGTON: I don't know what it is. No, it's the exact opposite of what someone should do on stage and I die.

JESSICA KIRSON: Well, it's a lot of it is for comedians honestly or like there's actors in the audience, they die from that.

RON BENNINGTON: You're the comics comic at the Cellar. People will watch you. the comics will

JESSICA KIRSON: Shhhh we're doing a podcast. Um, comics love like if I'm if I'm bombing at the Comedy Cellar and I'll just uh. like say my stepbrother's credits, Zach Braff, I'll be like, "Scrubs was filmed in a real hospital. [Laughter]. I had Passover dinner with Mandy Moore." Yeah. Um, okay. I'm going to turn around and do this. Yeah, for you. Okay. Is it okay if you get a shot of my asshole?

RON BENNINGTON: Yes. Okay. Yes. I already have two pictures.

JESSICA KIRSON: Oh my god. I knew [Laughter] those were going around, but this one has saltines in it. Okay, great. Okay, hold on.

Jessica, it's good that you're doing this podcast. You might get some work out of it. I know you don't even know who Ron is, but you're doing well and you chose this career. You are not a victim, okay? Everyone has problems. And the guy in the lobby was not your father. Okay.

RON BENNINGTON: That wasn't your dad?

JESSICA KIRSON: I don't know. He passed, but he may have come back just to Cuz I'm in the cancer hospital.

RON BENNINGTON: How are you uh related to Zach?

JESSICA KIRSON: He's my sister. No, he's my stepbrother. Yeah. Our parents. Um My god. Is someone opening candy? Do you mind if I just go?

RON BENNINGTON: Yeah, you can go to visit anybody. Yeah.

JESSICA KIRSON: I uh I love you so much.

RON BENNINGTON: I love you.

JESSICA KIRSON: Um he my mother married his father. Got together when we were like nine and 14. So we it was a long time.

RON BENNINGTON: Yeah. Yeah. And then and they're still together.

JESSICA KIRSON: No. Well, my stepfather passed away and my mom has a new boyfriend who's really hot.

RON BENNINGTON: Seriously?

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah. He's a wonderful man. [Laughter] His name is Herb. Like Rosemary. It's shocking, but he's a lawyer from New Jersey. You know, he's a really nice guy. Yeah. Uh and my stepfather was great. And I love my stepbros. Like I I'm lucky cuz everyone got along and

RON BENNINGTON: and you had total acceptance, right?

JESSICA KIRSON: I did. You know what's funny? This is an old joke, but it's really the truth. My parents didn't care that I was marrying a woman.....who I'm now divorced from, but um they cared that she wasn't Jewish. How funny is that? That is that is the truth, right? So, my dad called me and he's like, "Do you mind just not serving pork and shellfish at the wedding? You're going to love this." Um because we have a couple of religious people coming and I'm like, "That's what you're concerned I'm eating." they literally said that to me like they were more and they're not even religious, but um the truth is like it's it was different.

RON BENNINGTON: Mhm.

JESSICA KIRSON: You know, it was I'm with a Jewish woman now and it's it's just different. We're both always afraid like take, you know, carrying food around in case we get taken away again. You know. Yeah. So, it's very similar. We complain.

RON BENNINGTON: But it is it is interesting how that all came back. Like I when like Rich Vos used to bring up anti-semitism years ago, I'm like, "Dude, it's over. Stop." You know what I mean?

JESSICA KIRSON: It's over is great.

RON BENNINGTON: It's like bringing up Dixie Land Jazz. It's not coming back. And then he was right.

JESSICA KIRSON: Well, yeah, it was better for a very I mean, seriously, you can't say it was always horrible. I mean, it's gotten a little better and and then, you know, it's been bad.

RON BENNINGTON: Well, you know, when I was a kid, the Jewish culture because of comedy, right? I was like crazy about it.

JESSICA KIRSON: I could see that. You have that.

RON BENNINGTON: I just loved it. And I'm like, I want to end up in New York. I want to eat Chinese food straight out of the box. And I want to be hanging around with funny people. And basically, look what I'm doing now with the funniest people in the world. Come by.

JESSICA KIRSON: Isn't that amazing? I mean, we love you. I, you know, I've watched some other clips, but I I wouldn't do this for everybody. There's no food here. But saltines and graham crackers and semen, which is good because that's protein. Um, but no, I really I the minute they asked me, I was like, of course. Like, I just you're so amazing, you know? You really are. You're so kind and funny and loving and so supportive. You really are so You've helped so many of us.

RON BENNINGTON: Yeah. I I wonder why I'm not more competitive. You know what I mean?

JESSICA KIRSON: I'm Not either. Yeah.

RON BENNINGTON: I just enjoy funny people.

JESSICA KIRSON: Me, too. Like, I feel bad for people who are constantly like, I don't How come this person got that and that? I've never been like that. . I really haven't.

RON BENNINGTON: Plus, you don't want too much success, right? : It's horrible because you immediately start worried about losing it.

JESSICA KIRSON: That's really interesting what you're saying cuz things have shifted for me very recently to like I'm getting recognized a lot more and I mean I'm I'm not like I get it like I'm not like really famous but it's it's shifted. And there's stuff happening in my career and it's very uncomfortable because I am not used to like having success and having really good things happening. And it's scary like you said it's going to go away.

RON BENNINGTON: Sure it does. Yeah. Everybody if you're hot it means it's it's cooling off. No matter what. You know but luckily most of our friends they don't have to worry that much. You know what I mean?

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah. They don't. I mean nowadays you can like lose it and then you could do something horrible and get really popular again.

RON BENNINGTON: That's a smart idea to to be caught up in a horrible scandal. [Laughter]

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah, that's true.

RON BENNINGTON: Who's it like who's had a career that you've admired though?

JESSICA KIRSON: Well, I mean of course Joan Rivers like as a female come I mean like just someone who's unapologetic and did you did you know her?

JESSICA KIRSON: I met her twice. but I don't know. I watched her documentary. I was like, "This is amazing."

BEEPING

RON BENNINGTON: Here's the thing. All the guy comics think that means my heart stopped.

JESSICA KIRSON:: No, I just knew that was like, "We need to change something, right?" I bet I bet 99% of the people that work here are amazing people.

RON BENNINGTON: Everybody that I meet, like I said, the nurses are the ones that you interact with. Yeah. Um, the doctor comes in, he's got a sheet. who look up every once in a while, right? You know. This doesn't look good. But the nurses, the ones in the empathy, they treat you like a human being.

JESSICA KIRSON: I know. I've spent a lot of time in hospital because of my daughter.

RON BENNINGTON: which has got to be the worst, when its your kid.

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah. I mean, the worst because it's a child, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's uh and it's since the day she was born, you know, she has, for people that don't know, she has heart disease, but she's had three open heart surgeries and a stent. And she's only 10 and a half and needs more. Yeah.

RON BENNINGTON: God bless her.

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah. Thank you. So, it's I get the whole thing of being in a hospital for a long time, in whatever, staying in a hotel.

RON BENNINGTON: Yeah. But that's the other thing is I I meet people here every two weeks who flew in to do the same thing that I'm doing.

JESSICA KIRSON:I know. We are. So, we're lucky that it's right here. I mean,

RON BENNINGTON: We are. And by the way, every Jewish friend that I have, they all were like, "Go. This is where you need to go." Every I I can't believe how much Jews know about healthcare.

JESSICA KIRSON: Are you kidding? I swear when I notice a little bump on my knee, I'm like, I really I cannot believe my knee is going to be amputated. [Snorts] My whole leg, it goes right to the worst. [Laughter] But that not everyone does that. Every Jewish person I know does that. It's It's horrible.

RON BENNINGTON: But why why is that part of the culture?

JESSICA KIRSON: Um I don't know. I think we're just like filled with fear, a lot of us and anxiety. I mean, we we complain too. Like I'm honest, not everyone, but like my mom complains constantly. I started complaining constantly. I had lunch with her the other day and she's like, "I don't like this chicken salad." I'm like, "It didn't even come yet.

RON BENNINGTON: [Laughter]

JESSICA KIRSON: It's in the kitchen." Yeah, it's

RON BENNINGTON: You know what? I was bringing up Vos with you, too. He would This would be him constantly. Did somebody already open these chips? There was this How long has this been out? And I'm like, "Dude, when I met you, you smoked crack." [Laughter] Okay. What are you worried about?

JESSICA KIRSON: That is hysterical. Oh, he has OCD. I don't know that about Rich. I I love him. I Yeah.

RON BENNINGTON: Isn't he great?

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah. Yeah. He's amazing. Um he's been very sweet to me. But that's that's funny that he has that OCD stuff cuz that's both. I think that's anxiety and Yeah. Yeah.

RON BENNINGTON: Well, he's got an addictive personality, too. Um

JESSICA KIRSON: I don't but I joking. Yeah.

RON BENNINGTON: I've went through every anything that I quit was one at a time. I'm like, "Oh, that was the problem." Quaaludes. Now I can do everything else. You know, and then I'm like, "You know what? I think there's too much meth." So, I'm going to get and I mean, I went on like through 15 things.

JESSICA KIRSON: You know what? I need to cut down on the crystal meth. Yeah.

RON BENNINGTON: I literally quit drinking alcohol before I quit cocaine.

JESSICA KIRSON: And I did, too.

RON BENNINGTON: Did you really?

JESSICA KIRSON: Uh I always say my act, you know you have a problem with cocaine when you're like it's my turn and you're alone. [Laughter] That's a major problem.

RON BENNINGTON: I would rather do coke alone too if I'm being honest. .

JESSICA KIRSON: Do you understand? People are always like what are you talking about? I'm like of course did it with other people in my life but I mainly did it alone in my apartment. I would look out at the peephole I swear to God for hours at a time on my tippy toes. My calves would kill me. Flush it down the toilet, look out of the the curtains, go back out to try and get more. I mean, I

RON BENNINGTON: I used to call um Jimmy Schubert we the peephole because the entire time we'd be getting high, he would be just looking out.

JESSICA KIRSON: That is hysterical. [Music] I went to I talk about this in my act, but I went to fat camp and it was like a Jewish fat camp. I call it Jat fan. I put every I always put words together because I'm a four-year-old [Snorts] and um and literally I the first year I went to fat camp I was like 10 pounds overweight and then every year I just got bigger and bigger, you know. Um it's so interesting that Yeah. I'm so hungry.

RON BENNINGTON: You know what?

JESSICA KIRSON: Sorry.

RON BENNINGTON: You can eat now.

JESSICA KIRSON: Where?

RON BENNINGTON: I I'll order you a sandwich.

JESSICA KIRSON: Can you order me box?

RON BENNINGTON: Sure, that's no problem.

JESSICA KIRSON: Um, I love calling it box. Isn't that insane? I ate some box last night. It was amazing. [Laughter] I had a great show and I hooked up with this chick and she had a baaahx.

RON BENNINGTON: [Laughter] Oh, that's so funny, man. You know, we were talking about Joan and she used to do my show a lot. Joan Rivers. Yeah. and was like I think I did one of the last things that she did before she was like so amazing and so sweet and funny and really really tough like she would go like this. You watch a lot of the Tonight Show, right? Do you remember one Jay Leno joke?

JESSICA KIRSON: [Laughter]

RON BENNINGTON: And I would laugh and she goes, I'm serious. Just tell me one. Tell me one right now. And she would always do, who's the worst person that ever came in here? And I And you had to have an answer for her.

JESSICA KIRSON: She loved gossip.

RON BENNINGTON: She loved it. She loved it.

JESSICA KIRSON:Who was the worst person? I mean, there's probably like a handful.

RON BENNINGTON: I mean, there is so many musicians that are autistic that they don't mean to be bad.

JESSICA KIRSON: That is......You know, I'm sorry, but the exact same thing goes for comics. The second you said that, I think most of us are autistic.

RON BENNINGTON: So, Joe Jackson for me, just because he had no idea why anybody was talking to him or what he was supposed to say back.

JESSICA KIRSON: Really?

RON BENNINGTON: Yes.

RON BENNINGTON: I've always been lucky with that, too. My kids were pretty. My uh granddaughters are beautiful and they're very, very funny. And they're trying to figure out why I'm always going to the hospital. They're like, "Oh, what?" Not better yet.

JESSICA KIRSON: I know. Isn't that amazing? My kids do that, too. Why do you have to go away so much? Yeah.

RON BENNINGTON:You're on the road a lot.

JESSICA KIRSON: A lot It's People are like, "When when did you start touring?" I'm like, "27 years ago." My tour is literally called The Never-Ending Tour. Isn't that funny? It's I mean when I'm not away for a while I get very antsy. Um but that now the travel is killing me. Killing me.

RON BENNINGTON: It's the worst.

JESSICA KIRSON: I took five flights this weekend. To do two gigs in Canada.

RON BENNINGTON: That's the thing too with me is like I'm not at my best when I'm out there. Like I'm not trustable on the road. You know what I mean?

JESSICA KIRSON: You mean you'll go to the wrong place?

RON BENNINGTON: Like No, you mean I'll stay. You know what I mean? I'll forget everything else that why I'm on the road except for Hey, I've met some really strange people that I'm hanging out with for a couple days.

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah. I um I do want to stay most places. Yeah. I really [Clears throat] do. I But some of these places, you know, it's the most depressing. My god. They're like, "Did you do anything in Nebraska? I heard it's real." I'm like, "I was a second away from cutting." Literally, it's a shock that I made it to the show. I say this, it's true. I cut my mouth on the inside with chips. I suck my I just slam them in like Doritos and then I have cuts and like hanging skin inside.

RON BENNINGTON: One time Fez Watley and he had the same eating thing too and he ate so many lemon cookies that his [Laughter] tongue froze and he had to call me up please. And I go I'm not... and he wanted to go to the hospital. I'm not taking you for a cookie cookies. Yeah, lemon cookie overdose [Laughter]

JESSICA KIRSON: overdose.

RON BENNINGTON: He did sour patch kids until he was bleeding.

JESSICA KIRSON: That's Those are danger. I'm serious. If you eat too many of those,

RON BENNINGTON: I saw him spitting up blood.

JESSICA KIRSON: What?

RON BENNINGTON: He was He was spitting blood because he ate so many sour patches.

JESSICA KIRSON: I'm sorry, but that's one of the funniest things I've ever

RON BENNINGTON: He was like a very like every panic attack he had, it couldn't have been any funnier. And I would be on a plane with him and I'm like, "Dude, you got to stop. You're killing me right now." because he would yell [ __ ] out.

JESSICA KIRSON: Oh, that I had to find a friend like that. What would he yell out?

RON BENNINGTON: One time, uh, we were just taking off and just like this and he yells out, "We got a real cowboy on our hands." And you see everyone in the plane is like, "Should we duct tape?" You know what I mean? But uh, another time, I swear to God, we're on a plane and he just yells out, "Does anyone else smell gas? I smell gas.

JESSICA KIRSON: That's insane. I know. What? People must have freaked out.

RON BENNINGTON: Yeah, they did freak out. They did freak out.

JESSICA KIRSON: Did you How did he stop? Like cuz if someone's having a panic attack, you like Yeah.

Well, I would try just to talk to him and go, "Oh, no. This is the This happens all the time." But, you know, most of the time it didn't, you know.

JESSICA KIRSON: I couldn't fly with someone like that.

RON BENNINGTON: He uh once he had his head in my lap.

JESSICA KIRSON: Well, that's not that's not a panic attack. That's a blowjob

RON BENNINGTON: And I go and the stewardess comes over. Is everything all right? And I go, please give us 5 minutes. 5 minutes is all I ask for.

JESSICA KIRSON: That's a long time.

RON BENNINGTON: Yeah. Well, you know, he's not good at it.

JESSICA KIRSON: Well, of course, cuz he panics. He's probably like, [Laughter]

RON BENNINGTON: you've got to have confidence.

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah. Oh my god. [Clears throat] Yeah. You have to [Laughter] really But I didn't mind that. I also have said this so many times because I'm an eater. So I like that feeling in the back of my throat, you know. Yeah. I just the semen is what I couldn't ....

RON BENNINGTON: So you you've been with a lot of guys.

JESSICA KIRSON: I was with a lot of guys in um I I've been I was with a lot of guys in college uh in blackouts. Yes. Like I didn't even know they weren't women. I was like, "Wow, your [ __ ] is huge." [Laughter] Um no, I really I I wasn't like disgusted having sex with men. I couldn't fall in love with them. So, that was what it was. It was more of like an emotional thing. Sure.

RON BENNINGTON: But that's the that's the thing. You wanted love.

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah. When you're younger, you don't realize that. Like I always was like, if I was dating someone, I didn't even want to spend time with them. I'm like, where are my friends? You know, that's kind of weird.

RON BENNINGTON: Yes.

JESSICA KIRSON: Girls usually get like crazy over guys and are like, I miss him.

RON BENNINGTON: But I was the same way. Like I I probably was closer to my guy friends growing up than any of my girlfriends. Yeah. You know, but it never occurred to us because we were this, you know, [ ] outsiders like the [ ] movie like Pony Boy. You know what I mean?

JESSICA KIRSON: I love that movie. [Laughter] Yeah.

RON BENNINGTON: It never occurred to us to be gay.

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah, you probably all are.

RON BENNINGTON: Yeah. 100%.

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah. Now that you're going through this, you should just go full gay.

RON BENNINGTON: Who can blame me?

JESSICA KIRSON: I'm serious. Okay. Really?

RON BENNINGTON: Who can blame me? Yeah, I should be pumping [] into my chest right now.

JESSICA KIRSON: That would be a great name for a special, but it's too long. They should be pumping [ ] into my chest right now. Just with a a picture of you in this chair.

RON BENNINGTON: Like, dude, I'll put that special out just

JESSICA KIRSON: on Nickelodeon.

RON BENNINGTON: Yeah. [Clears throat] Yes, of course. Nickelodeon. Kids have got to know.

JESSICA KIRSON: When was the first time you fell in love?

RON BENNINGTON: Oh, I was about kindergarten. when I fell in love with a girl and I was like crazy about her and then um like all pre-sexual brokenhearted as if as if it was as bad as a divorce.

JESSICA KIRSON: That is that's cute though. What was her name?

RON BENNINGTON: Well, uh Jeri Ann [.----] was her name. I shouldn't have said her last name cuz I forgot we're doing that. Let's just say Jerry Ann Bleep.

JESSICA KIRSON: Jeri Ann Bleep is [laughs] Jeri Ann Take this out.

RON BENNINGTON: She took me up on the on her step and goes, "I want to introduce you to my mom." And then she kissed me on the lips and ran into her house and I go, "Her mama is going to kill me." You know what I mean? Because I'm taking her daughter away, right? It all felt so real to me.

JESSICA KIRSON: That's why so cute.

RON BENNINGTON: I would never like accuse a kid of puppy love. I would just treat it. You know, when a kid gets a broken heart, it's.....like when my daughter would break up with a boy, I would always like, "Hey, man, stop by anytime." You know what I mean? I try to keep them close enough to see that he was okay.

JESSICA KIRSON: It really is horrible. It's horrible. Like when you watch your kids go through, it's like, yeah, when they're hurt or they get broken, not easy. It is. It's so hard having kids. People don't realize it.

RON BENNINGTON: No, it's it's it's exhausting. Like Gail will bring her kids over to my house and I'll have to take a nap while they're still there. I go I just I can't I can't tell you how tiring this is.

JESSICA KIRSON: I know. It's ex---- I'm an older mom to three of them. Like it's it's exhausting. It really is. I'd rather like take a train through North Carolina by myself. Like

RON BENNINGTON: [Laughter] that's the worst thing that you can think of? Taking a train through North Carolina?

JESSICA KIRSON: [Laughter] I couldn't think fast because I ate too many carbs last night and I'm a little like.... Yeah, I should have said take the train through Germany.

RON BENNINGTON: That would have been great. We'd have been laughing and high-fiving.

JESSICA KIRSON: I just bombed in a [ __ ] cancer center.

RON BENNINGTON: But I told uh Gail's daughter, Juju, I go, "If you say the name Penguin again to me, okay,... I just can't keep talking about penguins, dude."

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah, they're so repetitive. Yes. Mama, look. Mama, look. Mama, look.

RON BENNINGTON: [Laughter]

JESSICA KIRSON: I said I said in my special that they always want to hear the same story, too. I'm like, how many [ ] times do you have to hear Cinderella? I'm like, all right, this [ ] went to a party and didn't she blew a guy, she left a shoe, she went home, he came to find them forever, you know?

RON BENNINGTON: It's like really, this has got to stop. Seriously, this is not good for me right now. What? Your laughing is shaking my cancer all up. And uh

JESSICA KIRSON: you know I think it should spread. I think that's really what you want is for it to spread everywhere.

RON BENNINGTON: That's how they say I was lucky that I did it all right away. You know what I mean?

JESSICA KIRSON: You took care of all of it from the beginning. You got nowhere else to go.

RON BENNINGTON: Look, I don't want to keep you because you're the best. There's no one funnier.

JESSICA KIRSON: That's not true, Ron.

RON BENNINGTON: Someone could tie you. I didn't say that was

JESSICA KIRSON: Who could tie me? Carrot top?

RON BENNINGTON: Yes. Can I tell you why? He could take this cup and do 15 minutes.

JESSICA KIRSON: You're right. [Laughter] That's so much easier to just take a cup and do I know.

RON BENNINGTON: Just run around with it. Hello. Is this a phone? No, it's a cup, dude.

RON BENNINGTON: So, yes, you could be tied, but that's it.

JESSICA KIRSON: That's very sweet. I mean that coming from you that is like I mean this I'm not it's it's a huge statement. I really appreciate that.

RON BENNINGTON: But you know everybody feels that way about you.

JESSICA KIRSON: Yeah. And next week I'm performing at the Rectal Hut. Um it's a great club in Ohio. No, I'm very grateful. But you know it's really the comics I say this all the time who have gotten me to I mean Bill Burr made my like he produced my two specials. It was I couldn't get one. That's insane to me. I know. But you know, this happens.

RON BENNINGTON: Yeah Well, as a white male, it's the the hardest time for us. I know. That we've ever had. It is.

JESSICA KIRSON: Um the cancer thing helps. I do. Because I I'm a dyke. It does make it a little bit easier, you know? It kind of like edges off the age thing. Yeah. So, um, but I love I love being here with you. I love you. You're so special. And the fact that you're doing this is just amazing. I love it.

RON BENNINGTON: Well, let's do it again.

JESSICA KIRSON: I would do it anytime. I'm serious.

RON BENNINGTON: Come like a candy striper in the 1960s.

JESSICA KIRSON: Wait, should I bring this emotional support llama or something? Like, yes, a big Have you seen a dog or anything here? Are they allowed here?

RON BENNINGTON: Michael Che gave me this. Um, a right there. Right there.

MICHAEL CHE: I wanted to get you a teddy bear. And I still might I still might go down there right after. I promise you. Yeah.

JESSICA KIRSON: That's so cute. I just got emotional. That's really sweet. He's the sweetest. I know. He is I mean, everyone you've had. Yes. Is the sweetest. But this is really incredible. So cute.

RON BENNINGTON: I will see you again, darling.

JESSICA KIRSON: Um, I will see you again. Okay. And I love you.

RON BENNINGTON: You're the best. I love you again.

AGAIN pop pop.